Valley Roiders dispatched to Toulouse to deal with Russian ultras

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Teams of Valley roiders have been dispatched to Toulouse by the Welsh Assembly to take care of any Russian ultras intent on causing trouble.

Ten teams were flown out of Cardiff Airport last night, followed by a separate plan carrying their fake sun tan lotion and syringes.

A Welsh Assembly spokesman told WalesOnCraic:

“We have been keeping a close eye on events in France and with Wales taking on the Russians tonight, we’ve been left with little choice but to send the big boys in. Richard Branston has lent us a plane and we sent the lads out last night ahead of the game. They’re on the ground as I speak, having a few bevvies and sussing out the opposition. If anything does kick off, they’ll get straight into the action by putting their hands up to their sides and saying ‘Come on then if you think you’re hard enough’. If things get worse, they’ve been instructed to throw some chairs at some windows.”

One valley roider who didn’t want to be named said:

“Yeah butt. Can’t wait mun.”