This new salad tastes just like doner kebab

A Welsh food manufacturer has created a salad that tastes just like doner kebab.

It means that lardarses all over the UK can feel like they’re eating shit but actually be eating something that’s good for them.

Cindy Slimthigh, owner of Skanky Foods Inc, told WalesOnCraic:

“We get a lot of chubsters saying that they should eat salad but that they’d rather eat doner kebab. We’ve spent years trying to come up with the perfect solution and today, we were proud to announce the doner-salad. It tastes just like ground up arseholes and eyeballs but it is fact, made up of nutritious leaves and shoots. We’ve been trialling it in some smaller shops but now we’re looking to expand into supermarkets.”

Fan Jenny WobbleArse said:

“I eat loads of this stuff. I can’t get enough. It’s like I’m on a night out but in fact, I’m eating what I should be. I feel amazing.”

The new product is available in all good outlets and some shit ones.