Theresa May ‘seeking part-time position in Lidl’


Britain’s Prime Minister is actively seeking a part-time position in Lidl.

Sources say that the PM is looking for a job where she doesn’t have to think too much.

A spokesman for Downing Street said:

“T’zer’s had it up to her tits with this Brexit thing. She wants to jack it all in and get a tidy little part-time position in Lidl. She doesn’t mind what she does and she’s actually fully till-trained for her days in Dorothy Perkins. She wants a position that she can just walk out of at the end of the day and forget about it.”

A manager at a local Lidl store has confirmed that they have received a CV from Downing Street.

“I’m struggling to see where she’d fit in to be honest. Debbie’s off next month on maternity leave but we’ve got Brenda covering those shifts because Dave’s moving to evening shifts. We’ll see.”

May is currently pissing into the wind with Brexit.

Image: Kuhlmann / MSC

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