One Direction’s Zayn Malik Leaves Band To Become New Host of The Ferret

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One Direction’s Zayn Malik is set to be the new host of The Ferret.

The world reacted in mourning this afternoon at his announcement that he will be retiring from the band. He cited ‘not wanting to be famous any more’ as his reason, and it appears that his agent has found the perfect gig on ITV Wales.

“I was fed up of dancing around and all that.” said Zayn. “I’m just a normal lad. I’ve been interested in consumer affairs for three months now and ideally, I’d like to work on X-Ray with Lucy and Rhodri. Obviously, that’s a few years away yet so I thought I’d start with a similar show that no-one actually watches. I can’t wait to get started.”

Fans will be able to look forward to Zayn tackling the big issues of Wales, like ‘Why do bin men always leave your wheelie bin half way up your street?’ and ‘Why do some motorists never say thank you when you let them through?’

Former Ferret host Chris Segar was unable to comment on news of the new host as he was attending a naked rave in Brazil.