Man blows up two months’ mortgage payments in his back garden

2075

A North Wales man has blown up two months’ mortgage payments in less than ten minutes in his back garden.

Steve SparkleArse claims he was spending his money to keep his kids happy.

His wife Sheila told WalesOnCraic:

“He hasn’t even got any kids. This is purely a way of regressing back to his happy childhood days when his fat father would spend his wife’s savings on massive firework displays. Steve’s mother eventually left the father and ran off with a dyke. Don’t blame her. Might even do the same myself.”

Steve said it was worth shelling out hundreds and hundreds of pounds on fireworks.

“I could have gone down to the local council estate to watch other people’s but there’s nothing quite as exciting as opening a new box of fireworks and knowing that they are yours. It’s like Christmas except it’s not.”