Gyms widen entrances ahead of reopening

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Gyms across Wales are preparing to reopen by widening their entrances so that customers can waddle in.

Many exercise machines have also been reinforced to withstand heavier customers.

“With gyms closed for the best part of a year, many gym bunnies have turned into wobbly lardarses, but gym bosses say that they are ready for them,” said gym owner Jim ‘Gym’ Jimbob. We’ve reinforced our machines so that they can withstand heavier customers and we’ve also widened our entrances so that they can waddle in unimpeded. It’s been a long, tough year but thanks to Mark Drakeford, we can now try can recoup the £50b we lost last year from the vending machine alone.”

Gyms will now be able to open from May 3rd, a week earlier than the planned May 10th date that we set out by the Welsh government.

“We’re ready for you,” said Jim ‘Gym’ Jimbob.”But don’t all come at once.”