Free pairs of braces to be made available to juveniles who can’t afford belts

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The Welsh Assembly Government is offering free pairs of braces to juveniles who can’t afford belts.

Several thousand youngsters can’t afford belts, meaning that their jeans sag low around their buttocks, usually exposing a rotten pair of Primark boxer shorts.

An Assembly spokesman told WalesOnCraic:

“We see this all the time, especially out and about. These young lads, these poor, poor lads. They’ve obviously had their jeans bought for them by their mothers – bought one size too big so that they’ll grow into them. But what we commonly see is that these lads don’t grow and their jeans end up hanging off around their arse, showing all of their kecks to all and sunder. I quite like it myself if you know what I mean but we know that some people are offended by this.”

Welsh Assembly ministers will patrol the streets in vans and hand out the braces when they necessary. Packed lunches will be provided by the tax payer.

One youngster said:

“Hiya butt. You coming down the park tonight like? I’ve managed to get a pack of Benny Hedgehogs and we can smoke them on the swings. You in or what?”