Woman uses military-grade flamethrower to remove spider from her bath

A woman from Treorchy has used a military-grade flamethrower to remove a large spider from her bath.

Emily Softcheeks was about to soak her fat arse when she noticed the spider on her bottle of Timotei.

She told WalesOnCraic:

“It’s always the same. I get 10 minutes to relax before I have to put the kids to bed and what happens – a frigging spider comes along to ruin my day. I’d already had a tough afternoon – I’d dropped my phone down the toilet and then tripped over my knickers getting undressed. All I wanted was a nice bath. The spider was about as big as a saucepan and he was just sat there looking at me with his 8 eyes. I’d been pushed too far. I remembered that my son had ordered a military-grade flamethrower off Amazon to play with when he’s out with his butties. I clambered back out of the bath, loaded up the flamethrower and zapped the spider. You should have seen his face! He had the shock of his life! No one messes with Emily Softcheeks on a bad day!”

Emily is currently looking for new accommodation. Fireman took 5 hours to bring the inferno under control.

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