‘Essence of Port Talbot’ air fresheners removed from supermarket shelves

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A brand of air freshener scented with ‘essence of Port Talbot’ has been removed from supermarket shelves.

It follows complaints from shoppers who said that the spray ‘smelt of shit’.

Billy Guff, Chief Executive of Local Airsprays Inc. told WalesOnCraic:

“We are very disappointed to head that supermarkets have removed our products from their shelves. Our researchers spent several hours driving up and down the M4 to capture the unique scent of Port Talbot in a bucket. We spent £10 bottling it and preparing it for sale. Without the income that our product would have generated, it means I now can’t buy my mistress the food blender she’s been on about for weeks. Worse than that, I can’t give my wife the £20 I lent off her to but petrol last week. This government should be ashamed of itself.”

Shopper Glenda Gunt said:

“I used their product last week after I’d taken a massive dump in my downstairs toilet. It smelt worse than it did before and I was very embarrassed as the gas man was there fitting a new boiler. He thought I had a serious digestive problem.”