Caerphilly toilet roll supplies put on Red Alert


Caerphilly’s toilet roll supplies have been put on a Red Alert warning following news that the borough will come under a local lockdown.

There are fears that sales of toilet roll will rocket on the black market and that some people will be left wiping their arses with copies of the Sun newspaper.

One Caerphilly resident told WalesOnCraic:

“It all boils down to those dickheads who thought it was ok to go out partying. They all thought that it was all gone away. But now I’m facing the real prospect of being without anything to wipe my arse. I can’t believe how selfish some people are. If you want to track and trace these arseholes, simply ask who’s been out partying. The last lockdown was bad enough but this one’s going to be worse because it’s getting colder and darker.”

One resident of nearby Rudry added:

“Won’t bother me. I try and avoid the place anyway, if I can.”

2020 been a bit shit? Get your 2021 Grumpy Fucker Year Planner here and start planning better times ahead

The Latest

To Top