Army takes over nationwide trampoline repatriation

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The Army has stepped in to help organise a nationwide trampoline repatriation later today.

Emergency services have been struggling to return trampolines and other pieces of garden furniture that took to the skies during Storm Ciara.

An Army spokeswoman told WalesOnCraic:

“The emergency service people really were struggling under the sheer volume of missing trampolines so Boris has called us in so that he looks like a hero. We’ve got our work cut out for us though as roughly 3 million trampolines will need repatriating. Patio set covers and garden fences will also need restoring but we look forward to the challenge. We’re all a bit fed up of training up at the Beacons so this will give us something else to do.”

Storm Ciara roared into the UK yesterday, leaving a trail of devastation, including fallen wheelie bins and small twigs on the floor. Weather experts say that the weather will calm down once the storm has passed through.