A&E inundated with ‘chariots in rectums’

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Cardiff’s Accident & Emergency Department is under severe pressure tonight after an influx of chariots in rectums.

Doctors have warned that England fans may need to wait to have their chariots surgically removed from their arseholes.

Dr StickyFingers said:

“We are warning England fans that there could be a bit of a wait if they are wanting chariots removed from rectums. Obviously, the boys in white have been the dominant force these last few years but we’ve got a horrible feeling that we could be in trouble tonight. My best friend Billy had a chariot up his arse for three days after our last defeat and he couldn’t sit down until it was taken out.”

England fan Tarquin Smythe-Peacock told WalesOnCraic:

“The last time one had a chariot in one’s rectum was in 2015 when one was watching the World Cup. I had to wait five days to have it removed and couldn’t walk for a week afterwards.”