78% of the population considering hibernating

A large population of the country is considering hibernating as a way of bypassing the shitty Winter ahead, according to a recent survey.

Those who took part in the survey said that they’d rather sleep through the shitty weather and pandemic, and start again in the Spring when it’s all over.

Brian Bobblehat, who conducted the survey, told WalesOnCraic:

“We spoke to thousands of people across the country who broadly agreed that it’d be far more fun to snuggle up and sleep through the Winter. Participants of my survey said that they had very little to look forward to over the next few months, and would prefer to sleep it off and wake up when it was all over.”

Sheila Cosycheeks, who took part in the study, said:

“All I want to do is climb into bed with a hot water bottle and mug of hot chocolate and sleep for 6 months. When I wake up, all the shit will be behind us and I’ll be able to open the bedroom window to the chorus of the Spring birds and I can then get on with my life. I just want to hiberante. It’s as simple as that.”

Hibernation is when lazy twats like bears go to sleep for 6 months to avoid doing any work. A bit like that fella down the pub that you know.

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