10 year government study concludes that obese people should stop eating shit

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A 10 year government study has concluded that obese people should stop eating shit if they don’t want to get any larger.

The study, which cost £4bn, published its findings earlier in the week. It said that obese people continue to eat shitty foods and therefore find themselves getting larger.

Professor Pleb, who headed up the study, told WalesOnCraic:

“We studied a number of subjects over a 10 year period. We found that those who were obese ate a lot of shitty, fatty foods, whereas those who weren’t obese, preferred healthier alternatives. The obese people who kept eating these shitty, fatty foods, seemed to increase in size over the 10 year period. They also started smelling like warm chicken soup. We therefore concluded that it was the shitty, fatty foods that made – and more importantly – kept these people obese. We advise that if you don’t want to be obese, that you don’t eat these shitty, fatty foods. I’m off down to John Lewis now to spend my £4bn. Bye.”

The study also found that people who had big muscles either worked really hard in the gym or were pumped up full of steroids.