Sales in electric fences have risen sharply after much of the UK decided to drape their wet bollocks and top bollocks on them rather than watch the new series of The Voice.
Electric Fences R Us reported a 256% increase in sales last night as the first episode of the singing competition was broadcast. Electric fence salesman Jimmy Fizz told WalesOnCraic:
“I usually close the shop early on the weekends so I can go home and get twatted down the pub but we had such a rush on last night that I was there till gone 10. I don’t mind because I’ve now got enough money to take Monday off and get twatted then. I’ve never known so many people wanting electric fencing. I thought something shit must have been on telly and it was only when I looked in my TV Weekly when I got home that I realised that The Voice was on telly. Then it all made sense.”
The Voice features singers who sing to the judges who are sat facing away. The judges turn around if they are suitably impressed with the singer’s voice. The show aims to do away with judgements based on appearance.
As new judge Boy George said to one contestant:
“I would have chosen you if we’d seen you.”