If you’re called Dave or John, it’s likely you’ve got a huge penis

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Scientists in Wales have some good news for lads who have a certain name after publishing the results of a year-long study.

The results of the study showed that men called Dave or John are 90% more likely to have a large love truncheon than other lads.

Professor Brian Bigballs told WalesOnCraic:

“We studied 500 men across Wales to find out whether there was a correlation between men’s names and the size of their old boy. What we found was startling. We found that the names Dave and John matched up with those who had love shafts more than 10 inches long. It’s a real shame that I’m called Brian. I’m thinking of changing my name by deed poll so that my my penis will grow another 8 inches.”

One participant of the study called Lee said:

“My mam said that I had a big todger but I’m gutted to find out that this is not the case. I’ll be having words with her when I get home tonight.”