Welsh residents ‘unable to recognise home towns in strong sunshine’

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Residents in Wales are struggling to recognise their own towns and cities in the strong spring sunshine.

The problem has arisen after months of shitty, pissy weather where residents have become accustomed to being moist.

A resident of Brecon said:

“I wandered into town this morning and I honestly thought I was in Barbados. There were palms trees swaying and the girls in Boots were wearing Hawaiian garlands and playing kazoos. I only popped into get some bunion plasters but before I knew it, I was sipping Sex on the Beach cocktails down at Poundland.”

Another shopper reported more delusion down at Kwik Save, where shoppers were treated for sunburn and sunstroke.

“I was reaching in for some frozen turkey dinosaurs when I came across all queer. I think I’d burnt my head on my way into town as I had my sunroof open.”