Valleys TV: Bank Holiday Monday Listings

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BBC 1 Valleys

19.30: Breakfast VTV
Wake up and enjoy our first spliff of the day with George, Dai and Ramone.

19.00: Neighbours From Hell
Sparks fly as a family from Hirwaun plays holy feck with their next door neighbours.

21.30: Casualty
It’s a busy night in Prince Charles, the Gurnos and Swansea Rd boys have been fighting and two nurses have a lesbian affair.

22:30: Wife Swap
Just another normal day on the posh estate in Ebbw Vale as all the dirty housewives frig themselves stupid.

22:35: Ross Kemp on Gangs
This week Grant from Eastenders visits Penywaun in Aberdare. For Kemp to join the Penywaun Posse, he has to get a love bite on his neck and the back of his hair sticking up. He might struggle with the latter.

22:45: Documentary – Twelve Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest
Reality TV at its best as we take a closer look at the committee Men of Aberdare Cons Club.

00.00: Close
Home made videos from up on the estate.

BBC 2 Valleys

17.30 : Cash In The Attic
Local drug dealers show us their hidden stash up in the attic.

19.00: Top Gear
Dai ‘Rollem Smokem’ talks us through the top gear available up on the estate this week.

21.30: Desperate Housewives
A real life documentary on women from the Rhymney Valley.

22.00: Match Of The Day
Abertusswg Chicken Farm 3rds V Cwmaman Allstars. Today’s Match Sponsor – Fred the Cockle Man.

23.00: FILM Fight Club
Merthyr Tydfil on a Saturday Night.

00.00: Close
Porn from Blaenavon. Not for the faint or normal people.

BBC 3 Valleys

19.30: Bargoed’s Burning
Bargoed firemen are devastated as their card game is interrupted by a stranded cat.

19.00: Flying Doctors
See doctors flying through the windows of Prince Charles Hospital as the Gurnos Estate natives kick off again.

21.30: Documentary -Muff Diving with Whales
Our undercover reporter spends a night in the Black Rock, Llantrisant.

22.00: FILM Jurassic Park 4
A weekend in the Black Rock, Llantrisant.

23.00: University Challenge
Programme cancelled for obvious reasons.

00.00: Dr Zelda’s Diaries
Warning: Contains scenes of a strong sexual nature and Granny Smith apples.

01.00: Close
Porn

BBC 4 Valleys

17.30: Wake up with Rita the Hump
Our friendly one-eyed hunchback presenter chats to characters from up on the estate.

19.00: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
See George and Dai fight over the last line of coke in the toilet cubicle.

21.30: Prison Break
Watch Big Bruce squat the screws like flies as he breaks out of Swansea nick.

23.00: Big Brother
Pontypool people enter the Big Brother house. How many do you know? Find out next month.

00.00: Loose Women
Three women from Ponlottyn talk for an hour about their minges for an hour.

00.00: Close
Yup. You’ve guessed it. Porn.