Any forthcoming UK elections will be decided with a televised mud-wrestle.
Legislation laying out terms and conditions for a TV mud-wrestle, currently going through the House of Lords, looks likely to be approved later today.
A spokesman for Downing Street told WalesOnCraic:
“I think we’ve all had enough of politics and we are currently looking at new ways to bring interest back to the nation. We’ve had god knows how many elections in the last few years and to be honest, what’s exciting about going to the local church hall and putting a cross onto a small bit of paper with a pencil? We want to make politics sexy again so we’re going to settle this next election with a live televised mud-wrestle. All of the big players will be there and we predict that Boris will trample over everyone with his heavy frame, thus settling the debate.”
The spokesman said that ideas for a Gladiator-style tournament were ruled out after people objected to seeing Jacob Rees-Mogg in lycra.
“No-one wants to see that,” said the spokesman.