Trump seeking to buy Barry Island

Reports from the White House suggest that President Trump is seeking to buy Barry Island.

Following his rebuttal by Greenland, Trump is reportedly interested in purchasing a similar area of desolation and bleakness.

A spokesman for the White House said:

“While we aren’t commenting on whether Mr Trump does or does not want to buy Barry Island, I can say that this is very likely. Mr Trump has a past history of purchasing land plots and turning them into areas of soul-crushing forlornness. Following the highly public fuck off from Denmark following his interest in buying Greenland, Mr Trump is now looking for somewhere equally as desolate and barren. Members from the White House visited Barry Island last weekend and were impressed by its sheer wilderness. Initial thoughts are that he could concrete over the beach, stick a hotel right on the seafront and build a casino where Finnegans is. There’s a frequent train service that can shuttle the riff-raff in and out so we think it might be a goer.”

Barry Island retailers were cautious about such a buy-out. One shop owner said:

“Since the Log Flume’s gone, nothing has been the same. I don’t think I can cope with more change.”

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