Ethel Leathercrotch went on holiday to Spain but couldn't get faggots and peas because she was in Spain
Other people's wind chimes have been voted the most annoying noise that people have to endure in life
Toby Combover has been secertly dating another Croc-wearing Tesla driver for three weeks
Ethel Undergunt was also hoping for flowers and a slap on the arse as she left for work
Unsecured garden furniture is also under threat from Storm Eowyn
The cold weather has turned many people into proper whinging bastards
Glenda Lardarse put her membership card to good use this morning
Shoppers were hoping to get refunds so they can afford to eat in January
The nontrinitarian, millenarian, restorationist Christian denomination say it's not nice
The medical breakthrough has been hailed as a gamechanger
The survey also showed that 100% of cats didn't give a shit how long their owners were going to be out
The world saw a 14% rise in dickheads in the last month alone
