A miserable old fart from Trebanog has complained to the Spanish authorities after she was served Spanish food while on holiday in Spain.

Ethel Leathercrotch was left glum-faced after she couldn’t get hold of faggots and peas while staying in Spain.

She told WalesOnCraic:

“I came here with my friend because I’m a tight-arse and she was paying for my flight. When I got here, all I could think about was faggots and peas so my friend said that we should go out and find a local restaurant.

“When we got there, all they had was this Spanish shit. No one wants to eat that. I asked Manuel, the waiter, if they had faggots and peas and he went nuts and tried to get me chucked out for questioning his sexuality.

“We went to another restaurant and they didn’t have faggots and peas either so I went straight to the British Embassy and lodged a complaint with them. Once they had stopped laughing, they said they’d look into matters and take it up with the authorities there.”

Ethel returned from Spain a few days earlier as a result.

“Since I’ve been back, I’ve had faggots and peas every night of the week. My farts now smell like a butcher’s underpants.”

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