A new political party has been launched in the UK, aimed at bringing back traditional values.
The Regress Party launched from a Wetherspoons car park last night, and promised to restore time-honoured beliefs to the country.
The party’s leader, Nigel Cabbarge, told reporters:
“We want our country back and to do that, we’ve launched the Regress Party. From this day forward, we will be fighting to restore traditional values to the country, and to make sure that we go back to the good ol’ days.
“First on the agenda, we will be bringing back the Winter of Discontent, which had us all working just a three day week. We all work too hard in this country so we thought it’d be nice to have a few days off a week so that we can have a nice barbeque or something.
“After we’ve restored that, we’ll be introducing those pints glasses with the handles on - do you remember those? They had dimples on the sides. We think that’s a very important thing to have because I remember my dad drinking out of one when I was a kid. That was before everything went woke and he was banned for drink-driving.”
The new party promises to bring back the glory days, and to revel in some of this country’s finest moments in history.
“We’ll be looking to bring back the Austin Allegro too. But that’ll probably be sometime next year because we’ll only be working three days a week and in those three days, we’ll be working hard to bring back beer glasses with handles on the sides. You know the ones? They' had dimples on the sides,” added Mr Cabbarge.
The party’s launch was followed by a political rally in the skittles aisle of a nearby pub.
