A recent survey of cats has shown that 95% of them choose violence for no reason.
Many of the cats surveyed said they’d quite happily rip out their owner’s eyes just for a laugh.
Tiddles, one of the cats surveyed, told WalesOnCraic:
“Violence is in my genes. I’ve got an owner but what they don’t realise is that I own them. They work their arses off to earn the money to go to the shop to buy me food so that they can bring it home and put it up for me on a posh plate and then feed me treats so that they think I love them. And what I do I do in return? Piss all over their kitchen floor. I tear their lawn up. I scratch my nails down their expensive curtains. If I’m in the mood, I’ll lash out when they reach down to stroke me. It’s what us cats do.”
Many cat owners have sought counselling after looking after their cats, saying that not quite the experience they were hoping for.
“I was imagining sitting down, reading a book by the fireside with my cat on my lap. I placed him there but he vommed all over my book, clawed at my eyes, and then went into the bedroom to take a shit. That’s not what I signed up for.”
Another recent survey said that cats were inherently unstable.
“Probably best we don’t have them as pets,” was the survey’s recommendation.
