Saturday morning Powertool Wanker sets his alarm for 5.30am


A Saturday Morning Powertool Wanker has set his alarm for 5.30am for tomorrow morning.

Thousands of Saturday Morning Powertool Wankers wake up extra early on Saturday mornings so that they can drill any old shit and wake their neighbours up.

One neighbour told WalesOnCraic:

“My Saturday Morning Powertool Wanker likes to drill holes into bits of metal just to wake me up. I’ve also got a second Saturday Morning Powertool Wanker who lives the other side, and he likes to mow the lawn at 6am every weekend. Across the road lives Dylan Dickhead, who likes to drill holes into random bits of wood at 6.30am and by 7am, they’ll be joined by Stan Shithead, who sands down lengths of wood, just to piss me off.”

Wales has a particularly high percentage of Saturday Morning Powertool Wankers, and they seem to prefer starting their work earlier than their counterparts in other parts of the country.

“They sure do love their powertools,” said one neighbour.

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