Government urges panic-buying of bread and milk ahead of tomorrow’s snow

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The government is urging people to panic buy supplies of bread and milk ahead of snow that is forecast on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Government officials have issued directives, instructing people to ‘punch people in the face’ if necessary in order to stock up on supplies.

Government spokeswoman, June Frigid, told WalesOnCraic:

“When we get these horrendous snow storms, it’s everyone for themselves. We highly recommend that everyone goes to the local shops and wipes them out of bread and milk. What if you were to get snowed in your own home? What would you eat if you had no bread? What would you drink if you didn’t have milk? Our position is clear – we are the government and we really don’t give a shit so get yourselves down to Kwik Save and get panic buying.”

Snow is expected to move into the UK during the middle of next week. Stocks of shitty Nimble bread are expected to last during the blizzard as usual.