Cloudy and windy up north with spits and spots of rain hanging around like a bad fart. Dry for the majority of other people with some bright spells and feeling more springlike. Maximum temperature 11°C.
Down on the farm, Mrs Honey has been giving advice to her friend Ethel who has a job interview at the local bakers. Mrs Honey told Ethel to think of imagining the interviewers naked, as this would help with her nerves. Ethel had to leave the interview after two minutes after vomiting all over her interviewers.
A bright and sunny start to the day but that will all soon turn to shit as clouds with bubble up and the winds strengthen. Rain moving into the north and west later in the day. Maximum temperature 10°C.
Down on the farm, Mrs Honey thought she’d be a good Samaritan today. She was very kind and helped an old lady onto the bus. A bit of a scuffle broke out after the old lady kicked off, telling Mrs Honey that she’d only just got off the bloody thing. There were a few handbags and Mrs Honey even took a smack to the face with a walking stick.
Another boringly grey day with big blobs of cloud around. Some brightness is possible down in the south and towards the east. Maximum temperature 10°C.
Down on the farm, Farmer Honey’s been getting ready for Valentine’s Day but ordering some stuff from Amazon for Mrs Honey. He’s off down the pub so he’s bought her a Fifty Shades DVD, a bottle of Prosecco and some new batteries.
A boring-as-shit day with outbreaks of boring cloud, some slight drizzle on the hills and naff all elsewhere. Brighter spells possible but who cares? Feeling fairly mild but windy later on. Maximum temperature 12°C.
Down on the farm, we’ve all come down with some sort of bug. Farmer Honey’s spent all day in bed, Mrs Honey has spent all day on the shitter and all of us sheeps have been feeling very poorly. The good news is that we’ve got a telly on our barn and Masterchef is back on telly tonight. We are all moist with excitement.
A really boring start with some light rain hanging around. Things brightening up though with some sunny spells moving in later. Winds dying down and feeling less cold. Maximum temperature 10°C.
Down on the farm, we’re all still recovering from the first Six Nations weekend. Farmer Honey woke up naked on the kitchen table with a chewing gum stuck on his forehead, Mrs Honey woke up wearing Farmer Honey’s Y-fronts and all of us sheep in the barn can’t remember a single thing apart from Brenda getting her wabbers out and showing all the lads.
A few snowy showers having around in the morning but nothing major. The sun will eventually pop his head out to say hello and things will gradually brighten up. Feeling cold though. Maximum temperature 5°C.
Down on the farm, we were all prepared for the earth-shattering blizzard that never came. So we packed away our toboggans and moped around the farm with faces like slapped arses.
A cold and nipply start to the day with some wintry showers hanging around. They’ll gradually fade away, leaving lots of sunshine for all of us. Maximum temperature 6°C.
Down on the farm, Farmer and Mrs Honey have been struggling with the cold, especially as their boiler broke down. They’ve resorted to wrapping themselves up in several coats and hot water bottles and not moving for hours on end.
Sleet and snow set to continue over in the west during the morning while the afternoon will see a band of sleet, snow and rain moving across the country. Any further snow will add to the snow already laid meaning that there will be some lying snow by the time night time comes around. Maximum temperature 6°C.
Down on the farm, we’re declaring a Snow Day down on the farm. That means we’re not allowed to do anything other than cwtch up, drink tea and eat Malted Milk biscuits. Lush.
Shitloads of sunshine across Wales for Monday although a few showers lingering around western areas. At this time of year, sunshine means cold weather and it’ll get no warmer than 5°C. Feeling less windy.
Down on the farm, Mrs Honey is pestering Farmer Honey to book a holiday. Mrs Honey wants a city break but Farmer Honey is holding out for a trip to the naked beaches in Greece.