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Weather Saturday 12th January

light rain

A moist start to the day for some while weatherwise, things will be a bit damp to start off. Some rain is possible as well as some brighter spells but wind featuring for most of us in Wales. Maximum temperature 11°C.

Down on the farm, Farmer Honey spent most of the afternoon in A&E after catching his bollocks on the gearstick of his tractor. So he says. He also says that doctors have advised Mrs Honey to tend to them for the next two weeks with love and affection.

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Weather Thursday 10th January

A mostly cloudy and dull day with some light rain lingering around, especially up on them hills. Brighter spells possible later on in the day with a maximum temperature of 8°C.

Down on the farm, Mrs Honey has heard that head of Amazon Jeff Bezos has divorced from his wife. Knowing that he’s the richest man in the world, Mrs Honey has written to him to ask him out on a date. She wants to take him to the local Greggs, the Albert and up her mum’s. She’s hoping she’ll fall for her Welsh charms.

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Weather Wednesday 9th January

A frosty start for most in Wales but with those lovely clear skies, we can also expect a good load of sunshine too. Feeling cold but that’s what coats were invented for. A maximum temperature of 7°C.

Down on the farm, Farmer Honey has been out trying out his new toy that he had for Christmas. He’s always wanted a drone so he went to the widest piece of open space he could find to give it a test drive. The people at Heathrow weren’t too happy with him though so he headed home pretty sharpish.

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Weather Tuesday 8th January

A colder but brighter day with lighter winds and good dollops of sunshine across the country. Cloud may thicken up in the east later and a maximum temperature of 9°C.

Down on the farm, Farmer Honey has decided that he wants to become a novelist. He’s decided to set his debut novel on a farm in Wales. His main character is going to be played by a handsome young(ish) sheep and his romantic interest is going to be a ewe called Dolly. Think he needs some work on his imagination.

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Weather Monday 7th January

Rain will move down from the northwest across the country, becoming lighter and patchier as it does. A fairly boring day with nothing to report apart from a few strong winds, particularly in the north. A maximum temperature of 11°C.

Down on the farm, Mrs Honey decided to use the local gym earlier today. She’s been a member since 2004 but has only used it once in the last 14 years. She went back today but only to use their toilets as she’d got caught short coming back from Kwik Save.
“He slept on the sofa because he snores like a bastard and soils himself after a few drinks. He’s not the man I married.”

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Weather Sunday 6th January

A mostly dry and uninspiring day with fair amounts of cloud around and a few brighter spells breaking out throughout the day. Patchy showers possibly arriving into the northwest later on in the day. A maximum temperature of 10°C.

Down on the farm, Farmer Honey’s given up on the idea of Veganuary already. Instead, he headed down to the nearest kebab house and ordered the biggest doner he could get his hands on. He ate it under three minutes and spent 3 hours in a food coma.

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Weather Friday 4th January

Foggy patches clearing away to leave us with a gloriously sunny day. There will be some light clouds around but who gives a shit? A maximum temperature of 6°C.

Down on the farm, Farmer Honey’s decided to try out Dry January. He visited the local Co-op to buy some bottled water and came back with 24 cans of Skol. He’ll be starting again tomorrow.

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Weather Thursday 3rd January

A cold, crisp winter’s day with plenty of sunshine in eastern and central areas. Any fog that’s hanging around in the morning will lift but patchy cloud will remain in the west. A maximum temperature of 6°C.

Down on the farm, Farmer and Mrs Honey have recovered from the shits and have been planning a romantic day together. They’ve booked into a local hotel and are hoping to get some rumpy pumpy in before heading out for a romantic meal. Farmer Honey’s packed his viagra and Mrs Honey has packed her Richard Clayderman CD.

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Weather Wednesday 2nd January

After any freezing fog patches melt away, we can expect a shiny springlike day with big yellow blobs of sunshine all over Wales. Feeling cold with light winds. Maximum temperature of 5°C.

Down on the farm, 2019 hasn’t got off to the best of starts as Mr and Mrs Honey have come down with the shits. Farmer Honey’s been blaming it on a bad pint of Skol but Mrs Honey is convinced that it’s the dodgy kebabs they had on New Year’s Eve. Either way, there are some awful noises coming from the farmhouse.