As the Porthcawl Elvis Festival rolls into South Wales this weekend, we take a look at the fateful day when Elvis, the King of Everything Fried, left us.
There is still some mystery to actually how it happened. Many close friends told us he choked after eating 30 ‘Chicken and Mushroom’ Pot Noodles in one sitting. Others swear he drowned after getting his head stuck in the toilet’s cistern tank preparing for the Bog Snorkelling Championships in Wales. We will never know, but it was a day that stuck in our memory, so we asked some people what they were doing when the news came through the hound dog had gone to Doggie Heaven.
“Me and the king were best friends…urggg break it on down….he always reminded me of me when I was me…except when he bloated out like a whale…it’s great being Tom.”
Sick Old Man
“I was in hospital getting my piles lanced….I remember they were like blood oranges hanging on a lemon tree….I bet you Elvis didn’t have piles like blood oranges…I’ve got genital warts now and all… I wish I would die.”
Waitress from Sweaty Betty’s in Ponty
“I was in the kitchen making the greedy bastard a huge plate of sausage, mash and mushy peas. In the end we give the food to the Salvation Army. Nice bloke…terrible dress sense.”
Dull F-cker from Bargoed
“Elvis dead? Oh no…I loved watching the detectives and Oliver’s army….saying that he did look ill mind the last time I saw him shopping in Peacocks in Blackwood….he walked like he had piles like blood oranges.”