Concerns Grow For Flower Pot Men

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POLICE in Aberystwyth have launched a double missing person investigation after 60s children’s television stars Bill and Ben the Flower Pot Men appeared to have vanished into thin air.

The duo – real names William Snuffmovie and Benjamin Colon-Wipe – had uprooted to the west Wales town in the early 2010 in a bid to escape their drug-fuelled London past.

In an interview for CBeebies Weekly Magazine last year Mr Snuffmovie, who was once engaged to Magic Roundabout star Florence until being caught in a compromising position with Ermintrude the Cow, said:

“We were basically off our heads the entire time we filmed the show. You only have to look at the tapes to see we couldn’t string two words together.

“Most people blame Weed but she wasn’t the problem; in fact she was a calming influence on us both.”

A spokesman for the police, sergeant Ray Chisum, said:

“It’s the same old story, the pair hadn’t been seen for a while and pints of milk were piling up on their doorstep – which immediately raised suspicions because they take their coffee black.

“We broke the door down… and apologised because we had the wrong flat – I blame the schools because PC Dribble is dyslexic and took us to the wrong address, which was quite funny as it turned out because it was his parent’s house.

“Anyway, when we did get inside Bill and Ben’s all we found was two empty plant pots.”

Mr Chisum added:

“They have either vanished or were about to start a very small cannabis farm.”

The pair’s disappearance bears a haunting similarity to the fate of their former co-star, Weed, who has not been seen since falling on hard times herself and having to take a role in a Pathclear commercial.