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Strong Gales Forecast For Wales Tonight: 73% Chance Of Wheelie Bins Being Blown Over

The Met Office have issued a yellow warning for strong gales across Wales tonight.

It means that if you’ve got your wheelie bin out on the street, there’s a fair chance that it may get blown over.

Here’s what the main man at the Met Office has to say:

“Gales or severe gales are expected to develop across much of England and Wales for a time tonight. Inland gusts may locally exceed 60 mph close to the squally cold front, whilst gusts of 60 to 70 mph seem likely at coastal sites in the south and west, as well as across hills. Gusts may exceed 75 mph in the more exposed coastal locations. The public should be aware of the risk of disruption to transport and possibly power supplies.

The previous warning covering much of the UK has been split; this warning for southern Britain is restricted to the overnight period, with the risk receding eastwards by morning.

Another deep Atlantic low pressure system will approach northern Britain tonight and into Thursday. Across most of southern Britain, the strongest winds are expected from late evening through the nighttime period, particularly on and just ahead of a squally cold front, which will move east with time. As this continues eastwards, so the strongest of the winds should ease later.

As well as the very strong winds, a band of squally rain is likely to sweep eastwards across many parts through the period.”

Derek’s Advice

Stay in and get pissed.

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Wheelie Bins Blown Over In Cardiff As Winds Batter Wales

Several wheelie bins have been blown over in Cardiff as strong winds continue to batter Wales.

Reports from North Wales also indicate that some garden chairs have also been blown over, bringing chaos and misery to Welsh residents.

Barry Belch from Birchgrove in Cardiff told WalesOnCraic:

“I had to put them out the night before last because it was bin day yesterday. Of course, once they’ve been emptied by the bin men, they’re a law unto themselves and if the wind gets catch of them, then we’re all in big trouble. My bin went down but we’re a strong family and we’re staying strong for each other.”

Glenda Sparklytits from Splott said:

“It was awful. I was lying in bed last night having a shag when all of a sudden, there was this huge clatter from outside the house. While my husband was going hell for leather, all I could worry about was whether my black bins had tumbled out on to the pavement.”

Strong winds look set to feature across Wales this weekend. Residents have been warned to put their wheelie bins in places that are unlikely to see it being blown over.

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Cameron: Wales and Scotland To Get Their Own Weathers

David Cameron has announced that Wales and Scotland are to get their own weathers, following his recent promise in the wake of the Scottish referendum.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“The recent referendum has highlighted the need for change in the United Kingdom. And I plan to deliver real promise which is why I have instructed my cabinet to begin making plans to give Scotland and Wales their own weather. We cannot keep sharing our English weather with these two proud nations. Each nation has its own requirements and I plan to deliver on that promise.”

But Scottish First Minister criticised the plans, saying that they were ‘a load of hairy bollocks’.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“The plans are a load of hairy bollocks.”

But Welsh First Minister Derek Brockway welcomed the idea. He said:

“Alex Salmond has always been a whingeing little arse. He’ll never become happy unless he becomes King of Scotland. Macbeth was the same and he came a cropper. We welcome new weather to Wales. Hopefully we can have less rain and more sun and that way, we can welcome billions of people here to look at our mountains and stuff.”