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Weather: Tuesday 16th April

A miserably grey day with outbreaks of rain across Wales. More persistent in the east and northeast but turning showery in the south-west. A maximum temperature of 13°C.

Down on the farm, we’ve been thinking up new ways to bring money into the farm. Farmer Honey is thinking of turning it into a theme park but Mrs Honey can’t see how charging £30 a person to be pushed around the farm in his wheelbarrow is going to bring in the punters.

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Weather: Monday 15th April

Dry but windy for most in Wales with big blobs of sunny spells dotted around. The southwest will see some outbreaks of rain which will spread to most parts of the country by nightfall. A maximum temperature of 12°C.

Down on the farm, Farmer and Mrs Honey celebrated Palm Sunday by riding a donkey into Brecon to buy loaves and fishes. They had no choice as their Austin Allegro finally packed in and it was either the donkey or walking it.

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Weather Friday 22nd February

Any crappy fog hanging around will lift during the morning, leaving us all with shitloads of hazy sunshine. Finally feeling springlike for one. Maximum temperature 17°C.

Down on the farm, Farmer Honey’s been dusting down his barbeque in advance of the warmer weather. Some of the friends down on the farm are feeling a little nervous.

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Weather Wednesday 20th February

Cloudy and windy up north with spits and spots of rain hanging around like a bad fart. Dry for the majority of other people with some bright spells and feeling more springlike. Maximum temperature 11°C.

Down on the farm, Mrs Honey has been giving advice to her friend Ethel who has a job interview at the local bakers. Mrs Honey told Ethel to think of imagining the interviewers naked, as this would help with her nerves. Ethel had to leave the interview after two minutes after vomiting all over her interviewers.

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Weather Tuesday 29th January

Sleet and snow set to continue over in the west during the morning while the afternoon will see a band of sleet, snow and rain moving across the country. Any further snow will add to the snow already laid meaning that there will be some lying snow by the time night time comes around. Maximum temperature 6°C.

Down on the farm, we’re declaring a Snow Day down on the farm. That means we’re not allowed to do anything other than cwtch up, drink tea and eat Malted Milk biscuits. Lush.

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Weather Monday 28th January

Shitloads of sunshine across Wales for Monday although a few showers lingering around western areas. At this time of year, sunshine means cold weather and it’ll get no warmer than 5°C. Feeling less windy.

Down on the farm, Mrs Honey is pestering Farmer Honey to book a holiday. Mrs Honey wants a city break but Farmer Honey is holding out for a trip to the naked beaches in Greece.