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Weather Monday 4th February

A really boring start with some light rain hanging around. Things brightening up though with some sunny spells moving in later. Winds dying down and feeling less cold. Maximum temperature 10°C.

Down on the farm, we’re all still recovering from the first Six Nations weekend. Farmer Honey woke up naked on the kitchen table with a chewing gum stuck on his forehead, Mrs Honey woke up wearing Farmer Honey’s Y-fronts and all of us sheep in the barn can’t remember a single thing apart from Brenda getting her wabbers out and showing all the lads.

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Weather Tuesday 29th January

Sleet and snow set to continue over in the west during the morning while the afternoon will see a band of sleet, snow and rain moving across the country. Any further snow will add to the snow already laid meaning that there will be some lying snow by the time night time comes around. Maximum temperature 6°C.

Down on the farm, we’re declaring a Snow Day down on the farm. That means we’re not allowed to do anything other than cwtch up, drink tea and eat Malted Milk biscuits. Lush.

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Weather Monday 28th January

Shitloads of sunshine across Wales for Monday although a few showers lingering around western areas. At this time of year, sunshine means cold weather and it’ll get no warmer than 5°C. Feeling less windy.

Down on the farm, Mrs Honey is pestering Farmer Honey to book a holiday. Mrs Honey wants a city break but Farmer Honey is holding out for a trip to the naked beaches in Greece.

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Weather Sunday 27th January

A cold day for most with sunny spells dotted around. There will be some wintry showers lingering around, mostly up on them hills. It will be windy and it’ll feel cold in that wind. Maximum temperature 6°C.

Down on the farm, it’s been getting pretty cold in the barn. One of the doors is very leaky so Farmer Honey has got a man in to fix it. Farmer Honey said he’d do it but he’s been saying that for the last 3 years.

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Weather Warning: Saturday 26th January

A cloudy start for most with moistness and drizzle hanging around like a bad fart. The afternoon will see some heavy rain and strong winds rumbling in, bringing with it gales to coasts and hills. A pretty rough day for some. Maximum temperature 11°C.

Down on the farm, Mrs Honey has decided that she wants a new kitchen. She wants an AGA cooker, granite worktops and a posh bin that opens itself when you tell it to. Farmer Honey’s not so sure so he’s bought her a new draining board drainer to try and keep her happy for a few months. It’s a plastic one from Kwik Save and has room for several plates, a few cups and a special part for spoons. She’s thrilled.

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Weather Wednesday 23rd January

Be careful not to slip on your arse first thing in the morning as it’ll be very frosty and icy. The good thing is that it will be sunny at least and will remain like this for most of the day apart from in the west where there is the chance of a shower. Feeling nipply. Maximum temperature of 6°C.

Down on the farm, Mrs Honey has made an official complaint about Farmer Giles who lives on the farm next door. It seems his cows have been mooing a bit too loudly lately and it’s putting Mrs Honey off her daytime TV. She’s written to the local MP and asked them to go round to Farmer Giles’s farm and tell the cows to shut the eff up. She’s awaiting a reply.

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Weather Warning: Thursday 17th January – icy as f*ck

A frosty start to the day with icy patches all over the shop. Wintry showers will continue in the west but for the rest of us, it’ll be a shiny, sunny but cold day. Maximum temperature 6°C.

Down on the farm, we’ve all cwtched up in the barn and getting an early night. The cold weather does have its benefits – we can put our cans of Skol outside the door instead of having to go all the way to the fridge and we can hang our donkey jackets on Dolly’s cold chapel pegs.

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Weather Wednesday 16th January

Much moistness to start the day with a band of heavy, pissy rain moving across the country to start with. As it moves away, colder and brighter weather will move in behind it. A few showers can bubble up later, possibly as wintry showers up on the hills. Maximum temperature 10°C.

Down on the farm, Farmer and Mrs Honey were delighted with the Wales team selection for this year’s Six Nations. They’ve already written to John Inverdale to ask if he can mention the Wales games during his commentary this year. They’re not expecting a reply.