New iPhones to come with pre-cracked screens

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Apple are looking to help out their customers by pre-cracking their new iPhones before they are delivered.

The move will save owners dropping their handsets in order to get the traditional iPhone look.

The company’s big boss, Tim Apple, told a press conference today:

“We’ve been listening to what our customers are telling us and what they are saying is that they are worried about cracked screens. We’ve listened and we’ve acted so we’re going to make sure that the screens are already cracked before they get into the hands of our customers. We are always looking to make life easier for everyone so we’ve got a few lads out the back with hammers bashing away at all the new phones we’re making. We’ve also trained one lad to put them down the toilets and pull the flush. This will save our customers doing all of this once they get their handsets.”

One customer told WalesOnCraic:

“Can’t wait. I spend hours throwing my phone on the floor to get the cracked screen look and this will save me lots of time.”

The new iPhones are expected to be launched when they can be arsed.