The month of January continues to continue

The month of January continues to continue, despite it feeling that it should be April already.

This year’s January started around seven months ago – and is set to continue for a few more months.

Beleaguered mum-of-three, Ethel Droopydrawers, told WalesOnCraic:

“WHEN WILL THIS MONTH END? This feels like it’s going on forever and I’ve watched the movie Spartacus. New Year’s Eve feels like years ago and all I want to do is get to February. Theoretically, that is just days away but I know that it’s going to feel like weeks before we even get there. At this point in time, I’d like to hibernate until at least June. If you could wake me up when we’re there, that’d be great, thank you.”

This year’s January seems especially long because time is moving so slowly. Compared to other years, January 2021 is travelling at less than half the speed that it normally would, scientists have said. Although technically, that is a load of old bollocks.