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A woman has been expelled from a Welsh library after spending three hours sniffing books.
Eileen Grumblegunt was escorted off the premises by security after sniffing her way through the romantic fiction section of Pontypandy Library.
Library spokesman Timmy Shinyshoes told WalesOnCraic:
“We get the odd weirdos coming in here but this woman was off the scale. She arrived at about 10am and opened her first book to sniff within minutes. At first, I thought it was cute but she then moved onto the next book and started sniffing that too.
“My smile soon disappeared as she then moved onto the next book. And then the next book. Within a few minutes, she’d sniffed the entire shelf. I thought she might leave it at that but oh, no. She moved onto the next shelf. People were starting to murmur and as you know, you’re not allowed to talk in a library.”
Security was eventually called to speak to the woman.
“I called Gary our security guy. He’d been out the back, watching soaped up titties on his phone. He eventually went to speak to this woman. There was a little debate but then things got quite heated so he donked her over the head with a large-print Jackie Collins book and she started to cooperate,” added Mr Shinyshoes.
The woman was eventually moved out of the library and was last seen heading to WHSmiths, or whatever it’s called now.
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