Wreck of British Labour Party Found Off North Wales Coast

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The wreck of the British Labour Party has been found off the coast of North Wales.

Fishermen found the wreck just off the coast at Rhyl. It was last seen cruising for an election win in May.

Fisherman Dai ‘The Fish’ Stinkyfingers, told WalesOnCraic:

“We was out doing a spot of fishing on our boat when my mate Jon said that he could see something red in the water. I thought it was the result of all the Class A drugs he’d taken the previous night, but when we looked, we could clearly see something there. We called the coastguard, who phoned the police, who phoned the ambulance people, who phoned the fire brigade, who eventually rang the RNLI, who said that they were busy. So we fucked off and left it there because we had a lot of fish to catch.”

The Labour Party’s last recorded movements were unknown, although rumour had it that the party was lurching very much to the left when it was last spotted. Divers are attending the scene to see if they can find what happened to Ed Miliband.

Stinkfingers added:

“I’ve got a few trouts here if you want them. Only a fiver each. Your missis would love it with a bit of mashed potato.”