World’s longest zip wire to open between Holyhead and St Davids

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The Welsh Government has given the go-ahead to build the world’s longest zip wire.

The wire will stretch all the way between Holyhead in the north and St. David’s in the south. The wire will be over 100 miles long and will include a Starbucks ‘fly-through’ halfway down.

A spokeswoman for the Government told WalesOnCraic:

“We’ve done naff all for the tourist industry for the last 50 years so we thought we’d pull our fingers our of our arses and do something spectacular. We’ve know a guy from down the pub who’s got some rope and said that he could rig it up for us. We’ll open it for the summer holidays and we’ll be charged £3.50 a go.”

Sadly, the price of a ticket doesn’t cover the return journey back by road.

“When we were at our meetings, we didn’t think it through properly because we were all playing Candy Crush on our phones so people who do go on the zip-wire will need to find their way back to Holyhead. We believe that there’s a taxi rank in St. David’s somewhere,” said the spokeswoman.