Pub owners across Wales have alerted scientists that woolly mammoths already exist in some of their establishments.
Scientists are currently looking at ways of resurrecting woolly mammoths using genetic engineering.
Pub owner Gary Wondergunt told WalesOnCraic:
“Bollocks to genetic engineering – those scientists should get their arses down to my pub. We’ve already got woolly mammoths wandering the land. Only last night we had one wandering in here looking for food. He ordered three meals and ate the lot. Then he down six pints of Skol before going out into the beer garden, dropping his trousers and sitting on the floor. I managed to take a photo which I’ve now put up on our noticeboard for everyone to look at.”
Scientist Dr. Denzel GoggleEyes said:
“We have heard the rumours about woolly mammoths living in Wales but we have never had the good fortune to come across one. If anyone does spot one, can they call us and let us know so that we don’t have to go through this genetic engineering shit. Thanks.”