Woman files for divorce after hubbie leaves crumbs on kitchen worktop

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A woman from Doncaster has filed for divorce after her husband left crumbs on their kitchen worktop for the second time in week.

Lazy-arsed hubbie Donald Thundergunt was reprimanded just three days ago after helping himself to a donut and leaving sugar granules on the worktop.

His wife Sheila told Ewes of the World:

“After Donutgate, I thought we’d heard the end of it but the lazy shit helped himself to some toast and Marmite last night and left crumbs all over the place. It was as if he’d gone into a crumb factory, brought all the crumbs home, and scattered them across my worktop just to annoy me. As soon as I saw them, I went straight to my solicitors and asked for a divorce. I can’t live my life putting up with it. I want a man who can make toast and NOT leave crumbs on the worktop.”

Donald tried to defend himself, saying:

“It wasn’t my fault. Those crumbs just fall off the toast like no-one’s business, especially when I’m trying to get them out of the bloody toaster.”

Donald is currently staying with his sister in Stainforth where he is annoying her by leaving crumbs all over her kitchen worktop.