Woman accidentally keys car with nipples

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Scratch-body

A woman from Tredegar has been charged with vandalism after accidentally keying a car with her nipples.

Amy Turbotits was walking home from work without a coat and was attempting to squeeze past a parked car.

She told WalesOnCraic:

“I was walking home from work I was. I’d had a bastard of a day and was late for my train home. I left work in a rush and forgot my coat. I got on the train but the train was so packed that I had my face squashed up against some guy’s armpit all the way home. Then I had to get a bus before finally walking the last bit home. I was freezing cold and tried to squeeze between a car and a wall. It was either that or I would have had to step out into the road. I got a little bit stuck and within a matter of seconds, I had four cop cars and the police helicopter on me and I was arrested. I was told that I’d keyed this old twat’s car. I’ve spent a night in the cell but at least I was a little bit warm.”

Police have issued a warning about pointy nips.

“We’d encourage women and men to keep their pointy nip-nips under control in this weather. If you are caught causing damage to anything, we’ll be there in a flash to sort it out.”




Image: Athol Mullen