The World Health Organisation has today announced that 4pm is the universal Wine O’Clock.
The organisation said that 4pm is now the most popular time to start getting shit-faced.
Lionel DeBlair, spokesman for the WHO, told WalesOnCraic:
“We’ve been collecting data from all over the world and after we’ve crunched all the figures, we’ve come to the conclusion that 4pm is the new Wine O’Clock. This marks a distinct shift from the usual 8pm, and reflects the nature of shit-facedness all over the world. I myself, usually start getting shit-faced just before 4pm. I have one cold beer, just to get me going, followed by two bottles of Gavi and if that still hasn’t done the job, I go to my emergency cupboard and open whatever’s there – that could include things like peach vodka or sherry from last Christmas. The WHO now recognises 4pm as the new Wine O’Clock and we will be confirming this in a letter to anyone who wants to read it. I’m off to get shit-faced now. Bye.”
World leaders will be forced to accept the new rulings, which comes as the world struggles with the cost of living in towns and cities across the world.