White House officials have confirmed that President Donald Trump keeps escaping from his straitjacket.
One official said that the only way to distract Trump from World War 3 now is send some Russian prostitutes into his cell.
Spokesman Thomas BrownNose said:
“Our Dear Glorious Leader, exalted and supreme, has been having some difficulty easing himself into his role as leader of the free world. But this is not his doing – this is down to the previous Obama administration. We are still traumatised by Hillary’s emails – where are they? Why hasn’t anyone looked into these? This is a witch-hunt. For his own safety, we have taken the decision to move our Supreme Leader to a cell for his own safety. We have put him in a straitjacket but the man is so talented that he keeps escaping. He keeps reaching for the codes and we have to keep taking them off him. This is the sign of a true and wonderful leader. Make American great again.”
Doctors have said that Mr Trump has been missing his medication lately.
“I don’t know what the frig he’s on but he’s not been taking it. Not that it matters because we’ll all be dead soon anyway,” said the medic.