Welsh women to get free NHS beer goggles ‘to help ugly Welsh lads get laid’

Ugly Welsh men are to be given a leg up to get their leg over after it was announced that Welsh woman will be prescribed free NHS beer goggles.

The news will come as a relief to thousands of ugly Welsh men who waste both time and money every weekend trying to get their end away.

Ugly Welsh man Scott Grimgrits told WalesOnCraic:

“My balls are like melons. I’ve been gagging to give someone a good tromboning for months now but no matter how hard I try, they always tell me that I’m too ugly and that I stink of piss. Hopefully now with these new beer goggles, I should be able to spend my weekends up to my nuts in guts.”

But the news hasn’t gone down too well with some. Gareth Boakes said:

“It’s all well and good giving the women goggles but there are some women out on a Saturday night whose faces look like they’ve been used as target practice by kids with catapults. We want some goggles too.”

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