Welsh surgeon struck off after inserting squeaky toy instead of breast implant

A surgeon from Caernarfon has been struck off after inserting a squeaky toy instead of a breast implant.

Brian Grubbyfingers said he’d inserted the toy as a laugh but was found guilty of medical negligence by a medical review committee.

The woman who had the squeaky toy inserted, who didn’t want to be named, told WalesOnCraic:

“It was awful. It took me a good few months to recover from the operation and it obviously took a while to get my confidence back in the bedroom. My husband and I had arranged a date night and we went to the local pub because they do two meals for one there. Dave likes the gammon AND the curry so what we do is eat one meal, then go and sit somewhere else in the pub and pretend we’re another couple. That way, Dave can have his gammon and his curry. Anyway. When he got home that night, Dave thought he’d squeeze my tit to turn me on and we both had a shock when he did. We thought his late dog Rufus had come back from the dead.”

It was later discovered that Dr Grubbyfingers had used a squeaky unicorn toy instead of a silicone implant.

“I wouldn’t have minded,” said the woman, “but we weren’t prepared for it and it ruined Dave’s night out.”