Welsh spiders gearing up for autumn Spider-geddon

1919

Spiders across Wales have been busy reproducing and growing to the size of small pets ahead of their autumn Spider-geddon.

The annual events sees massive spiders hiding under bed pillows and in shoes, ready to jump out and scare the shit out of people.

One spider told WalesOnCraic:

“The good weather in Wales over the summer has allowed us to shag like rabbits and as such, we’ve got millions of baby spiders ready to hatch and invade people’s homes. We’re going to try out some new hiding places this year, like under duvets and in coats. There’s nothing we like better than jumping out at unsuspecting people while they’re not expecting it. We also like to make webs across popular footpaths. People obviously don’t see them and walk straight into them. Oh how we laugh when they kick off.”

A spider expert said:

“We’re expecting a shitload this year. Make sure you got your slippers hand to bash the bastards with. But obviously make sure that there’s not one in your slipper. Or that the spider you’re about to bash is pregnant because she’ll explode and you’ll find millions of baby spiders running around your house.”