Welsh nationalists demand independent daylight hours to England

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Welsh nationalist group Wales First has called on Westminster to grant Wales its own independent daylight hours.

The group, who meet every three weeks in The Albert, want to banish the dark mornings and the dark evenings. Wales First leader Siân ‘Genghis Siân’ ap Iolo, told WalesOnCraic:

“We demand that we get nice sunny mornings and sunny evenings like they do in Europe. It’s not fair that we here in Wales should be subject to some ruling from the Dark Ages where we have to have the sun up at 8am and back down again at 4pm. Westminster cannot dictate this kind of thing to us any longer. We demand independent daylight hours from England and we want nice sunny mornings like they do on the Continent so I can eat grapefruit on the knock-down patio set I bought in Homebase last weekend. It had 20% off.”

Deputy leader, Blodwyn Jones said:

“I agree with everything she just said. Apart from the bit about grapefruit. I find it a touch too bitter on my delicate tastebuds. I prefer something more mellow like Weetabix with warm milk.”