Welsh nationalists demand dogs change their barks as ‘woof’ sounds too English

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Welsh nationalist street defence force team society Wales First have called on dogs living in Wales to change their barks to something more Welsh-sounding.

They say that in Italy, dogs say ‘woof-a-mia’ and in Spain, they say ‘woofos’.

Wales First leader ‘Genghis’ Si├ón ap Iolo told WalesOnCraic:

“In all other parts of the world, dogs speak a local dialect. Not here in Wales. We have to put up with the very Anglo-Saxon ‘woof’ which makes dogs sound like they’re from the Home Counties. We are asking dogs to change their barks to reflect their origins a bit more. For instance, they could say ‘woofio’ or ‘woofiau’, which sounds a lot more Welsh. If we are to move forward as a country, we need to keep our language alive. That goes for birds too. While they’re ‘tweeting’, they could be tweetiauging or something. The Welsh Assembly has done nothing to make our dogs sound more Welshy. All they do is collect my bins on a Monday, which is a pain in the arse because I like to relax on a Sunday night instead of having to put my bins out. They are a disgrace. The Assembly, not my bins.”

One dog said:

“What is that woman on about? I talks proper Welshy me see? South Welshy anyway. I does it all proper like.”