Welsh nationalist coup quashed by off-duty postman

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An attempted Welsh nationalist coup has been thwarted by an off-duty postman.

Wales First, the Welsh nationalist street defence force, took to the streets last night to overthrow the Welsh Assembly. The coup was snuffed out by Brendon Longshort, an off-duty postman.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“I’d just come out of Kwik Save because I’d run out of bleach and I also needed some scourers – you know the ones you clean the dishes with. They were on offer up there. Anyway, I’d just come out of Kwikky and I saw these two people attempting to overthrow the government. One of them had a sign with them, saying how angry they were, and the other one had a T-shirt on that said nasty things about the government. I realised straight away that this was an attempted coup because I’d seen this sort of thing on telly. I ran over to them and asked them what they were doing and sure enough, they said that they were going to overthrown the Welsh Assembly. I told them to go home but they were so rebellious that they said ‘no’. I told them that I’d phone the police of they didn’t go home and thankfully, they then went home. I’m not a hero – anyone else would have done the same as me in the same situation. I don’t need no medals or anything but if they insist, I’ll give them my home address.”

A spokesman for the Welsh Assembly said:

“Democracy has spoken.”