Welsh Men ‘Finishing Fifty Shades Of Grey Movie In Less Than Five Minutes And Then Going To Sleep’

A high proportion of Welsh men are missing out on screenings of the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie after knocking it on the head before their female partners have had time to enjoy themselves.

As the new erotic movie opens to cinemas across Wales, there have already been reports of lads finishing the movie after five minutes and going to sleep.

Movie-goer Brenda Widethigh, who didn’t want to be named, told WalesOnCraic:

“I’d been waiting for this for years. I put on my new frilly knickers and what happens? It’s all over in less than five minutes. Worse still, I haven’t had time to enjoy it and I have to put up with his snoring. The man’s a pig. Do you want to buy him? You can have him for a fiver.”

But one Welsh husband told WalesOnCraic:

“I couldn’t help it. It just sort of happened. I’ll buy her some flowers from the garage on the way home. That’ll make her happy won’t it.”

To mark the opening of Fifty Shades of Grey, Welsh writer Derek the Weathersheep is not offering any discount on his Amazon best-seller Fifteen Grades of Hay, which is available here:

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